Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
