Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
that's an acceptable place to lick
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
