I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
