im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
