the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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