My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
