we're blogging at a bar
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
