Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
