Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
