Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
