Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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