i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
