It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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