So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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