I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
