Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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