I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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