'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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