Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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