Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
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