Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
