Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize