I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
