Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
