She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
