We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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