it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
