i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
