I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I believe in your delicious
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
