I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
