Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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