I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize