My room smells like vodka and shame
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
