what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
So here I am, sexting at work.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
