I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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