I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
