Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
