Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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