elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
