Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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