First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
