Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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