There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
