Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
now i know why i became what i already was.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
