We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize
