The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
