one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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