wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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