My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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