don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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