im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
