im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
So I just went to clothing optional bar
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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