i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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