She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So much Jack, so little girl.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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