Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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