Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
