Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
