I want to stick my p in your. b.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
