is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
