Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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