I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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