your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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