There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
